How to treat wife in Islam
#1 Be kind to your wife & have hope in her
Islam teaches us to always be kind to our wives. Quran has told us that we should not expect perfection in our wives. If they have some flaws, then you should ignore these flaws and look at the good characteristics of your wife.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَنْ تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّا أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا
(Quran 4:19)
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good. (Quran 4:19)
#2 Do not argue, accept her differences, do not force changing
Allah’s Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وآله وبارك وسلم) told us that we should not compel our wives to follow exactly what we like. We should never impose our standards of life upon our wives. Allah (سبحانه و تعالي) has created women different, from me. They can never think and act like you. If try to impose your way of life upon them, then it can end up in separation. No excessive arguments with them: accept them, to some extent, the way they are.
(Saheeh Bokhari)
#3 Enjoy your marriage life with acceptance and forgiveness
This hadith is almost similar to the previous hadith. Allah’s Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وآله وبارك وسلم) told us that we should enjoy our marriage life with acceptance and forgiveness. We should accept that we can never remove all shortcomings in our wives. There is no point wasting our lives in order to bring our standards of perfection in our lives . Allah (سبحانه و تعالي) has created women different, from me. They can never think and act like you. If try to impose your way of life upon them, then it can end up in separation. No excessive arguments with them: accept them, to some extent, the way they are.
#4 Kindness is the key for happy marriage life
Allah’s Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وآله وبارك وسلم) has told us that the best characteristic of a Muslim is kindness towards his wife and family. A good Muslim is showing kindness everywhere but his family deserves the most of his kindness. If a person is kind outside his home and not with his family ,then there is something wrong with is faith (Imaan) . The following two Ahadith clarify this.
Narrated by Abu Hurayrah,Allah’s Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وآله وبارك وسلم) said:
Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well. (Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 628 )
Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas ;Allah’s Prophet Muhammad (صلي الله عليه وآله وبارك وسلم) said,
“The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family. (Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252)
